New wings new eyes

If someone would have told me six weeks ago that I would have make it 'til the end of this teacher training I would have laughed so hard!

To begin with ,the first thing I told to myself the very first day Was " ruuuuuuuun". This thought kept on playing on my mind for the next couple days (sometimes really LOUD!!) even on the second week , when finally it stopped. I was staying,it was already painful physically and especially mentally and I knew it was gonna go harder but there was no way I was leaving this training without completing it. My internal fire wont let me surrender. I knew what I had to put up with. It was obvious that the next six weeks Im just gonna dig and dig and dig deeper inside of me , Removing the dirt to find treasure. It was a process  i kept on postponing with excuses and laziness for such a long time now. Somehow we see that we have to take a  harder path ,but we just wont let go of all our habits and comfort because we are afraid of everything that will come up and change our perspective. Thats exactly what happened when the course started .
 All these mixed up super intense feelings I got this one and a half month ,all these sudden mood changes . Crying for no reason most of the times ,feeling like a dark cloud sat on my head , doubting everything. Past or present. Everything I was and everything I thought I would be.  Felt like one was being on the battlefield with oneself. The more you immerse on the training the more you realize where you've been all this time. And in my case I didn't like it , Ive  been blind. After all this time  I started to feel like a thin layer has been removed from my eyes and I can actually not just look , I can see. Therefore I am completely aware that this is just the beginning of a lifetime process but I just took this tiny first step. The real challenge though is when returning to our comfort zone, where you don't have no one but yourself to keep you together. When stepping on the mat , we step into our lives, we get trained for keeping it together when life strikes ,we learn to be aware and any time ready to act to whatever happens good or bad with a focused  mind.
When leaving my country I had in mind that I want to be a yoga teacher ,Ive been practicing yoga for some years now ,I know some things Im going to India to learn a bit more ,maybe go deeper with yoga and then I go back and be a teacher! It now sounds funny to me.

There is a saying in greek that goes like this:when you are making up plans for the future , God laughs at you. I often think about it when I find myself planning and planning what I want to do tomorrow what i  want to do this month,so I can focus on the present and let unexpected things happen and can take me to places. So when I was thinking about "my plan" after the training sometimes I was wondering what could the unexpected factor be in this  case.
To realize that Being  a teacher is not just telling people how to stand in asanas. At this point my plan fell apart. This deep need of finding whats been hidden under all this dirt which covered my insides this I want to follow . Remove all the layers that cover my eyes and keep me from truly seeing this I want to follow. I ve been grateful EVERY single day that has passed-even the days when I had really low moments- for meeting my teachers ,for taking this course ,for all the things Ive been learning again. It is the first time in my life I feel i have actually done something good for myself, like giving to me a present that will last for life. I feel my heart is softer , i feel I can actually connect again with any form of life in a complete new way. I feel I can connect to myself, to my breath , To my body , to every single organ of me I know I have the ability to feel every single cell of me. Till now I was more of just a body with a non stop talking mind. Believe me its exhausting. 

Now something moved inside and slowly life comes back .
Ive been reading and hearing that your teacher comes to you when you are ready,i doubted that and also I didn't believe in teachers- gurus . If you ask me now, I feel like I have two small lights inside of me brightening the path ahead , carrying them with me constantly.I feel its a never ending connection. I will always look back to them and what I ve been taught. Both teachers' words sound like the most delicate chant in my ears,they calm me down and they are patting me on the back pushing me forward when I get stuck somewhere either it is asana or life.

I always wanted to do something in my life that gives me the opportunity  to give back to people to actually offer something to society , to the world.

I cannot imagine the happiness the teachers receive by seeing all twenty four people blooming -each one in their own way- during these six weeks. Twenty four souls will breathe easier and softer from now on and if they get stuck sometime on the way the lights are still inside to guide them back to the right path.To have the opportunity to experience this myself I feel deeply inspired and honoured.All my thoughts about how one can lighten up souls and lives like this amazes me.

   The seeds have been planted the     souls will bloom.

Sent from my iPhone